I’ve officially hit the uncomfortable stage of the pregnancy! This baby has grown so much in the last couple of weeks it truly is amazing. I absolutely love seeing Dave’s giddy reaction every time he comes to inspect my belly. He just laughs and laughs about how big and tight my torso is. He loves poking and prodding trying to figure out where the butt, leg, arm or other body parts are. Dave especially loves when Baby Hale has his nightly “freak outs” where he seems to go crazy in my belly just punching, kicking, dancing and rolling around.
As I’ve gotten bigger, I’ve gotten more and more frustrated over not being able to be as active or do everything I used to do. They other day it hit me that I would have almost the identical feelings either before or after all of my surgeries. Besides the actual physical pain, I remember the feeling of being “handicapped” or incapacitated was absolutely the hardest thing for me regarding my surgeries. Being a person that is very independent and all about the “me do” (right mom?) made it hard for me to be restricted or feel like I was having my abilities stifled. With all of my surgeries though, I remember consciously making adaptions in my life, or learning how to literally retrain myself with certain actions so that I could remain self-sufficient and effective in my every day life. I remember while on crutches for my last surgery I would scoot around on my butt collecting laundry and pushing the laundry basket to the washer to clean it. I remember in college learning how to think of creative ways to get around to class while in a walking boot or on crutches. There were so many other things, big and small, that I would do that would make it so I literally did not go insane. Sometimes though, there wasn’t anything I could do except for simply ask for….help. Dave and my family were ALWAYS there to help me, but also were very much respectful and aware of the type of person I was. Dave and my family knew it was important for me to struggle and figure stuff out on my own and feel independent, but they also were the first ones to rush by my side and be there for me when I raised the white flag and asked for help.
I joke that I was “infertile via the knee” for the first 4 years of our marriage because I had so many operations and road-blocks. With hindsight being 20/20, I can now look back and reflect on how those surgeries and very difficult times actually has helped prepare me for this pregnancy and baby. I think it allowed me to have a smidge more patience (something I’ve always struggled with). It also has allowed me to learn how to adapt to this growing body and learn new ways of getting through the day. I’ve learned it’s ok to pick stuff up with my toes and not bend over, I’ve learned to sleep on my side, I’ve learned to accept a growing body that at times can be very uncomfortable for me mentally, I’ve learned its ok to lay down and take a rest even though there are dishes in the sink and most importantly….I’ve learned it is OK to ask for help. As frustrating as it is for me to not be able to pick up a heavy box, rearrange the furniture, mow the lawn or whatever, I’ve learned that I need to put the needs and health of this baby first and just ask Dave (or whoever) for help. I know that after this baby comes it will be even more important to allow and ask for help. Shockingly, I’m actually excited for help and support and Dave playing a more active role in our every day life. Should be an interesting and exciting next chapter.
Here is my 34 week picture! We see the Dr. this week. 6 more weeks and counting!
